my vision of the world.

To kiss or not to kiss (is that a question?)

I was talking to some friends a couple days ago and one of them was talking about a “game” that she saw people playing  (maybe she played) at parties. She talked about a necklace one gives to someone you want to kiss. If the necklace is accepted, you may kiss the person. The thing is that this one person kisses two people: one when receiving the necklace and another kiss when giving it out. She talked about other kinds of kissing games when you just end up kissing everybody around.


I have nothing against this person (she’s a great girl) or against the people who kiss someone at the first time they meet. I just want to tell that I wouldn’t do it,  and why I wouldn’t. (Maybe I could do it one day. I just have never done it, and I don’t want to do it).


My body is part of who I am. I believe I’m not my soul or my mind alone. I am what my body is. Even if I think I’m a little chubby, that I think a need a diet, or to do some more exercises, my body is still me. I am body and soul and mind.


What does this have to do with me kissing someone?


Well, it’s quite simple. When I kiss someone I’m giving my mouth, a very sensitive and vulnerable part of my body, to someone and of course this other person does the same to me. I’m giving my body and, of course, myself to someone. When I talk about things of my soul with someone, I don’t do it with someone I just met. I share my feelings with only my closest friends. Why should I share my body with someone I just met?

During the conversation I said, “I’m feeling like a grandfather.” I wasn’t defending old fashion styles of life or wanting us to go back to old times but I’m, in this case, partisan of the romantic lovers.  I believe in friendship before dating. I believe in kissing as a form of showing love. I believe in love forever.


As I was typing this article I saw a commercial on MTV where you send a text message with the name of the person you have a crush on in order to find out if he/she is a good kisser. Is this really the most important(or the first) thing to know about a person you are attracted to? How about his/her dreams? Or whatever other aspect of someone’s life? Isn’t it important to know what are his/her plans for the future? or what is the most important thing for him/her?


Well I think you understood my point. I believe in love.


You can read a Portuguese version, translated by myself, in Denise Landim’s blog:  Beijar ou não beijar.


One response

  1. Paula

    I couldn’t agree more with you. I really think that my body is very important and that really matter what I do with any part of it. I never was worried about that before my experience with God, but now I ‘m more mature and selective. I believe in chastity. I want to wait for “the one”, if this is odd to some people, it´s ok, it was odd to me in the past, but I invite everyone to think about it.

    13/09/2010 at 3:08 pm

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